Glad to be a woman in Reno

When I was stuck as a man for so many years, I wanted more than anything to be a woman.

Viewing movies, I always identified with the women. Reading books, I identified with the women.

Watching the news, I wanted to be a woman like Nicolle Wallace on MSNBC.

Watching Project Runway, I wanted to be a woman like Nina García, the editor-in-chief of Elle.

I did not know back then that my gender identity WAS female. 

For 25 years, I dressed as a woman, but it was only an impersonation. Two marriages ended in divorce because of my crossdressing.

Now, in 2022, I was at home working as a freelance editor. To keep me alert, I adopted a cat named Amy. She was friendly and smart.

Because of the small town feel of Reno, I found myself wearing leggings and ballet flats more often when I went out. Especially when I walked near the Truckee River. 

The river runs right through downtown Reno and it's one of the things I love about this town. 

I have always loved the way my feet look in ballet flats. Very feminine.

My ongoing love for Project Runway

For me, as a crossdresser who had always wanted to be a woman, I have seen every episode of Project Runway each of the twenty seasons it has been on TV since 2004. I've seen all the spinoffs like Project Runway Allstars. I love the show. In fact, I have started watching the reruns again now, starting with the first season.

If you've never seen it, amateur fashion stylists and designers compete to craft the best clothes while struggling to cope with numerous thematic, fabric and time constraint challenges. 

Challenges include fresh takes on fabrics like fake fur, and concepts like the classic cocktail dress, or a color-themed team challenge.

Obviously, I identified with the female winners like Erin Robertson, Ashley Nell Tipton, Michelle Lesniak, Lisa Jackson, Leanne Marshall, and Grace Kelsey.

For all the years I have seen the show. watching the models and the female competitors filled me with hope and charmed me. 

But I also wanted to BE a woman like Heidi Klum and Nina Garcia.

Back then, I never knew that someday I would BE a woman, though not as lovely as Heidi or Nina, of course.